3 Double Standards for Persians & Getting Married

You know they exist. Big Time. It doesn't matter how advanced, progressed, and liberal we've become as a society, Persians will always have the double standard market on lock when it comes to relationships and marriage, as it pertains to males vs. females. And they have no qualms about it. They may sometimes pass it off as a joke, but we all know that behind every joke lies some truth, and behind every double standard, there lies a Persian.

These are, in my opinion, the three biggest double standards...

The Marrying Age for Men vs. Women

Persians have a term for an unmarried woman over 29, and that's torshide.  Literally translated, it means we've expired, grown sour, basically of no use to mankind. There is a side dish served with food called torshi (pickled vegetables) and that's the root word for this term. Coincidence that it's a side dish? You be the judge.

An unmarried Persian woman over 29 is damaged goods. I mean, she must be, right? If nobody put a diamond on her left hand, there must be something wrong with her. It can't be her choice. It can't be that she's independent, accomplishing her goals, and perhaps waiting for her perfect match. It can't be that she chose to stay unmarried until she felt it was right. It must be because she's not marriage material, and no man picked her. Poor, poor girl. How sad.

An unmarried Persian man over 29? Jackpot!! What a catch!! So mature!! So handsome!! So successful!! He just hasn't found a good girl. Poor guy. Let's all collectively pool our resources together and talk to our sisters, neighbors, and strangers on the streets to see who has a nice daughter between the ages of 18-25 that we could set him up with. He's just SO busy working hard and making money that he can't be bothered with dating. I feel so bad for him! I will make it my life's mission to set him up with a nice girl he can marry!

If We Date a Non-Persian (rare exceptions to this rule exist)

If a Persian man or woman dates a non-Persian, nobody takes the relationship seriously. Oh, they're just having fun, they're just school friends, they're just waiting for a Persian. A Persian mom will actively try and set her son up with a Persian girl, while the son is still with the non-Persian. You know you've seen it happen, don't lie. You may have even been an accessory to the set up!

And then, if the Persian and the non-Persian get married, people will refer to it as heyf, or a waste. As if the Persian is the chosen one, and being in a committed relationship with anyone outside of this golden circle is somehow an injustice to the world that is so cruel, and so terrible, that the whole union is a waste. This really applies to the men more than the women. If a Persian woman gets married to a white guy, the family will just be happy that she's married, and managed to avoid turning into a jar of pickled vegetables. But ask a Persian mom how she feels about her son marrying a non Persian, and you will get the truth about how she feels...as long as nobody non-Persian is around!

What They Tell the Women about Getting Married vs. What They Tell the Men

Women are told to hurry up! Find a husband! Get married and have kids!! As if we can go to Costco and peruse the Persian Man Samples until we find one that we really like and want to buy and take home, instead of sample for a second and throw away in the big grey trash bin.

I had a family friend (whom I love very much) who was talking to me at a gathering recently. She stepped in really close to my face and squinted her eyes. I thought she was about to tell me I had food in my teeth, but no, that wasn't it. "NazNaz, you need to get married soon. You've got about a year or two left to look like a pretty bride. After that, it won't be so good." And that was at a Christmas party.

Men? Take your time! Enjoy being single! Have fun with white girls!

And that pretty much sums it up.