I should be writing for my class, but I've got Deadmau5 on the brain, and now I just want to dance. I might scare my roommates by doing that, so I'll stick to writing.
I moved in to a new apartment in the Upper West Side. Love the apartment, love the neighborhood.
You don't even have to leave the apartment for a little entertainment. There's at least two pigeons a day that fly into one of the many windows surrounding the apartment. I don't know if they're on a suicide mission, or if pigeons just have really bad eyesight, but those birds flew straight out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Don't worry, PETA lovers, they're all alive as far as I can tell. They just scare the hell out of me.
One of my neighbors is apparently an aspiring Broadway star. I hear him belting out tunes at all hours of the day and night, most recently at 7 this morning. I can never quite put my finger on what song he's singing. This morning I awoke to something along the lines of "I'm up! Yeaaahhhh where's the toothbrush? Time for a showerrrrrr, to start off the hour!" I can't get mad because I'm too busy laughing. I think it's safe to say he's penning his own lyrics.
Another one of my neighbors is apparently part grizzly bear because he/she doesn't seem to be able to walk across the apartment without causing my dresser to shake. That, or, his/her feet are made out of cast iron. It sounds as though the person gets a sudden to urge to run a hundred yard dash, but then thinks twice about it. Bizarre. Maybe the pigeon flew into their apartment?
No building would be complete without the one apartment that has a certain scent wafting out from under its door. No, not curry, or garlic. It's a skunky smell. It's pretty much there at all hours of the day. My morning coffee run? Skunk. My nighttime arrival? Still skunk. There's never any noise coming from that apartment, though. They seem pretty chill :)
All in all, I Heart NY.
One Love.
Nazanin
Miss you, boobooface.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Elusive Iranian Mom - Part One
We all love them. It doesn't matter if you're not Iranian, you love Iranian moms. They welcome you into their homes with open arms, lots of delicious food, an endless supply of cut fruit, and a ton of advice that you never asked for. Just make sure to take your shoes off before walking on the carpet.
The Iranian mom is a complex individual. She will do anything for her child. She is selfless to a fault. I love her. She is also one funny woman! My own mother has supplied me with an endless amount of comedy as a result of everything from her destruction of American sayings, her attitude towards keeping a clean home, and her ideas on how I should carry myself as a woman.
Let's start with the slight butchering of those American sayings and/or phrases. 'ThankS God' is my favorite. You know your mom has said it. Maybe it was your aunt, but someone has uttered this phrase on a consistent basis for the entirety of your life. No matter how many times you correct them, they will never change the way they say it. The phrase takes on some variety, too. Tanks God, Tank Gods, but never the correct 'Thank God.'
Another recent favorite was my mom's attempt to tell my sister and I how tired she was at the end of her work day. "Nazanin" she said, "I am a dead beat!" Um, mom, unless you have an illegitimate child that we are unaware of, and you are behind on your child support, you are not a dead beat, you are DEAD TIRED.
How about when she called me one day to tell me that my sister, Niloofar, wasn't in the best of moods. My mom says to me, "She really chewed me!" I'm sorry, what? Ohhh, you must mean she chewed you OUT!
And lastly, this gem of a phrase was spoken to my sister when she was 12 years old. After telling a family friend of ours that she was ready to go bra shopping, but was too embarassed to bring it up to our mom first, our family friend said (in Farsi) "Are dige, pervert shodi!" Which translates to, "Yes, you are now a pervert." We later figured out that she was referring to my sister hitting puberty, not pervertedness!
This is in no way meant to make fun of my mom, or yours. God knows how many Persian words I've butchered in conversations. My family in Iran are always quick to point them out, and we always get a good laugh out of it. There are simply a lot of observations that I've made over the course of my life. They make our moms endearing, loveable, and human. I hope you can relate to some of the things I've observed, or, at the very least, get a good laugh :)
Stay tuned for Part 2 of The Elusive Iranian Mom. ThankS God for them!
Please feel free to leave your own comments about your funny mom moments.
Much Love.
Nazanin
The Iranian mom is a complex individual. She will do anything for her child. She is selfless to a fault. I love her. She is also one funny woman! My own mother has supplied me with an endless amount of comedy as a result of everything from her destruction of American sayings, her attitude towards keeping a clean home, and her ideas on how I should carry myself as a woman.
Let's start with the slight butchering of those American sayings and/or phrases. 'ThankS God' is my favorite. You know your mom has said it. Maybe it was your aunt, but someone has uttered this phrase on a consistent basis for the entirety of your life. No matter how many times you correct them, they will never change the way they say it. The phrase takes on some variety, too. Tanks God, Tank Gods, but never the correct 'Thank God.'
Another recent favorite was my mom's attempt to tell my sister and I how tired she was at the end of her work day. "Nazanin" she said, "I am a dead beat!" Um, mom, unless you have an illegitimate child that we are unaware of, and you are behind on your child support, you are not a dead beat, you are DEAD TIRED.
How about when she called me one day to tell me that my sister, Niloofar, wasn't in the best of moods. My mom says to me, "She really chewed me!" I'm sorry, what? Ohhh, you must mean she chewed you OUT!
And lastly, this gem of a phrase was spoken to my sister when she was 12 years old. After telling a family friend of ours that she was ready to go bra shopping, but was too embarassed to bring it up to our mom first, our family friend said (in Farsi) "Are dige, pervert shodi!" Which translates to, "Yes, you are now a pervert." We later figured out that she was referring to my sister hitting puberty, not pervertedness!
This is in no way meant to make fun of my mom, or yours. God knows how many Persian words I've butchered in conversations. My family in Iran are always quick to point them out, and we always get a good laugh out of it. There are simply a lot of observations that I've made over the course of my life. They make our moms endearing, loveable, and human. I hope you can relate to some of the things I've observed, or, at the very least, get a good laugh :)
Stay tuned for Part 2 of The Elusive Iranian Mom. ThankS God for them!
Please feel free to leave your own comments about your funny mom moments.
Much Love.
Nazanin
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