These actually made me laugh, as opposed to rolling my eyes...
Me: Walking up to my building.
Him: "You look like that broad on TV! Ay, Tony! (yelling to Tony) Who's that broad on TV we were talking about? The one with the big, bushy eyebrows? (to me) No trust me, she's beautiful."
Me: Passing construction site (cliche, I know)
Him, angrily: "AY! You got some nerve walking through here like that."
Me: (confused, thinking I walked into wet concrete)
Him: "Breaking our hearts over here."
Him: Stopping inches from my face. "The best part of waking up."
*It took control on my part not to sing back, "Is Folgers in your cup!"
Him: In Giants gear.
Me: In Redskins gear.
Him: "I'll convert for you. RGIII! RGIII! I believe!"
8 Year Old Kid: You are looking fine today.
Me: How old are you?
8 Year Old Kid: Old enough.
Me: Walking in rain, juggling umbrella, coffee, and phone.
Him: "I'll be your personal assistant."
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
15 Ways The SuperBowl Would Be Different If 2 Iranian Brothers Were Coaching The 2 Teams
1. Their family and friends would hassle the brothers for weeks trying to get tickets to the game, only to end up scalping them for triple the value.
2. Iranian fans would petition the NFL to have Googoosh sing the National Anthem.
3. Iranians would manage to sneak in mortadella sandwiches, pistachios, and doogh (carbonated yogurt drink).
4. Their mother would burn esfand (incense) before the brothers took the field to keep the evil eyes away.
5. The coin toss would take forEVER, as each side would tarof back and forth.
"Please, I insist that you all receive."
"No, YOU choose whatever you want."
"Nokaretam (I am your servant)."
6. Their mother would be running back and forth between the two teams sidelines, feeding the brothers kabob, rice, ash (hearty soup), and tea.
7. Their supporters wouldn't be wearing their teams football jerseys, they'd be wearing Iran soccer jerseys.
8. The Brothers would make sure nobody touched their hair. Especially the hair on their heads.
9. The Brothers would be texting one another close up shots of the cheerleaders.
10. Iranians would petition the NFL to include an Andy and Kouros reunion as the halftime show.
11. When a call is made against either of the teams, their mother would run down and yell at the refs.
"Don't you geev my son dat von! Son of de betch! Dert on your heads!"
12. Power outage? No problem. Iranians would rush the field, form a circle, and take turns dancing in it.
13. The winning team would pour hot tea on the coach. Ironically, the losing team would do the same.
14. Their mom would run down to the field at the end of the game and assure both of her sons that they have doodool talas (golden penises).
15. The brother whose team lost would get phone calls from family and friends on Monday morning telling him what he should have done. Ironically, so would the brother who won.
Friday, February 1, 2013
6 Healthy Foods You Should Be Eating
* Disclaimer*
I am not, nor am I claiming to be, a medical, or health professional. I am, however, someone who has been physically active my entire life, and have always taken great interest in healthy eating habits and lifestyle choices. I was also a personal trainer at Equinox Fitness Club in New York City. The views expressed in this blog post are my own, and are not affiliated with any other entity. As with any diet or exercise changes, consulting your doctor or health professional beforehand is always recommended :)
1. Berries
Berries, such as raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries, have some of the highest antioxidants of any fresh fruits. They fight the free radicals that float around in your body. Free radicals can damage healthy cells, and are a major source of disease and aging. Berries are also low in calories and sugars per serving, especially compared to the higher sugar fruits, such as apples, mangoes, and pineapples, just to name a few. Basically, you get more bang for your buck with berries.
2. Kale
This dark, leafy green food has an abundance of health benefits. It's rich in antioxidant powers, and high in vitamins, specifically Vitamins A (good for your eyes), K (promotes bone health), C (great for your immune system), and B (metabolism booster). Kale also contains phytochemicals, which have been shown in studies to protect against certain cancers, specifically cancers of the prostate and colon.
3. Almonds and Walnuts
These nuts, like some other nuts, contain unsaturated fatty acids, which are good for your heart. They can lower your LDL, aka "bad" cholesterol. Because high LDL is a primary cause of heart disease, keeping your LDL low is a good thing. The Omega-3 fatty acids found in nuts are, according to the Mayo Clinic "...one of the best plant-based sources of Omega-3 fatty acids." These nuts are also a good source of fiber, and Vitamin E, which helps stop the development of plaque in the arteries. Plaque buildup can lead to a variety of heart related diseases, and that's never any good.
Try eating the raw forms of these nuts, and not so much the salted and flavored versions, which just up the calorie, sodium, and potential sugar content.
4. Avocado
Avocados are high in fiber, potassium, Vitamins C, K, B6, and folate. Powerful punch! Like olive oil, avocados are high in oleic acid, which studies have shown can prevent breast cancer. They are also high in lutein, which protects against macular degeneration and cataracts, so you can see clearly!
Numerous studies have also shown that when eaten with other nutritious foods, the healthy monounsaturated fats in avocados aid the body in the maximum absorption of said nutrients. So, basically, if you want the most benefits from what you're eating, add some avocado to it!
5. Seaweed
Seaweed has virtually zero fat. It's extremely low in calories, and its fiber content also aids in a feeling of satiation. Research from the LiveStrong foundation has said the following of seaweed: "When eaten as part of a meal, seaweed can help balance blood sugar because its soluble fiber content helps slow the rate at which food is digested and absorbed into the bloodstream." Its soluble fiber content also helps keep things moving along nicely, so to say :) Seaweed is also a good source of iodine, which your thyroids rely on to function properly. It's B-12 content is also said to help immune function.
If you don't like the consistency of fresh seaweed, try Trader Joe's dry roasted seaweed snack. It's one my favorite snacks, and it's only 30 calories per serving!
6. Beets
Beets are one of my absolute favorite things to put in a salad! Pair it with goat cheese and avocado, and your mouth will experience a tasteplosion! Beets are good sources of iron, and vitamins, all helping to boost your immune system. They have no fat, are very low in calories, and have been said to be a great natural energy source for your body. They're a carbohydrate, which is essential for body fuel, but they're not processed carbohydrates so they're not "bad" energy sources. They're high in fiber, vitamins A & C, calcium, and folic acid, which is essential to the production and maintenance of new cells. And, they're available all year round!
Also, according to the American Journal of Hypertension: "...beets are very high in nitrates, which when processed in the body increase our levels of nitric oxide. And nitric oxide, in turn, helps to relax blood vessels, and improve oxygen efficiency. Hence the lowered blood pressure and increased endurance of beet juice drinkers. Beets are the newest vegetable to study for cardiovascular effects..."
Basically, beets are being touted as improving the physical endurance and performance of athletes, and those of us who aren't professional athletes, but do exercise regularly. Eat up!
1. Berries
Berries, such as raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries, have some of the highest antioxidants of any fresh fruits. They fight the free radicals that float around in your body. Free radicals can damage healthy cells, and are a major source of disease and aging. Berries are also low in calories and sugars per serving, especially compared to the higher sugar fruits, such as apples, mangoes, and pineapples, just to name a few. Basically, you get more bang for your buck with berries.
2. Kale
This dark, leafy green food has an abundance of health benefits. It's rich in antioxidant powers, and high in vitamins, specifically Vitamins A (good for your eyes), K (promotes bone health), C (great for your immune system), and B (metabolism booster). Kale also contains phytochemicals, which have been shown in studies to protect against certain cancers, specifically cancers of the prostate and colon.
3. Almonds and Walnuts
These nuts, like some other nuts, contain unsaturated fatty acids, which are good for your heart. They can lower your LDL, aka "bad" cholesterol. Because high LDL is a primary cause of heart disease, keeping your LDL low is a good thing. The Omega-3 fatty acids found in nuts are, according to the Mayo Clinic "...one of the best plant-based sources of Omega-3 fatty acids." These nuts are also a good source of fiber, and Vitamin E, which helps stop the development of plaque in the arteries. Plaque buildup can lead to a variety of heart related diseases, and that's never any good.
Try eating the raw forms of these nuts, and not so much the salted and flavored versions, which just up the calorie, sodium, and potential sugar content.
4. Avocado
Avocados are high in fiber, potassium, Vitamins C, K, B6, and folate. Powerful punch! Like olive oil, avocados are high in oleic acid, which studies have shown can prevent breast cancer. They are also high in lutein, which protects against macular degeneration and cataracts, so you can see clearly!
Numerous studies have also shown that when eaten with other nutritious foods, the healthy monounsaturated fats in avocados aid the body in the maximum absorption of said nutrients. So, basically, if you want the most benefits from what you're eating, add some avocado to it!
5. Seaweed
Seaweed has virtually zero fat. It's extremely low in calories, and its fiber content also aids in a feeling of satiation. Research from the LiveStrong foundation has said the following of seaweed: "When eaten as part of a meal, seaweed can help balance blood sugar because its soluble fiber content helps slow the rate at which food is digested and absorbed into the bloodstream." Its soluble fiber content also helps keep things moving along nicely, so to say :) Seaweed is also a good source of iodine, which your thyroids rely on to function properly. It's B-12 content is also said to help immune function.
If you don't like the consistency of fresh seaweed, try Trader Joe's dry roasted seaweed snack. It's one my favorite snacks, and it's only 30 calories per serving!
6. Beets
Beets are one of my absolute favorite things to put in a salad! Pair it with goat cheese and avocado, and your mouth will experience a tasteplosion! Beets are good sources of iron, and vitamins, all helping to boost your immune system. They have no fat, are very low in calories, and have been said to be a great natural energy source for your body. They're a carbohydrate, which is essential for body fuel, but they're not processed carbohydrates so they're not "bad" energy sources. They're high in fiber, vitamins A & C, calcium, and folic acid, which is essential to the production and maintenance of new cells. And, they're available all year round!
Also, according to the American Journal of Hypertension: "...beets are very high in nitrates, which when processed in the body increase our levels of nitric oxide. And nitric oxide, in turn, helps to relax blood vessels, and improve oxygen efficiency. Hence the lowered blood pressure and increased endurance of beet juice drinkers. Beets are the newest vegetable to study for cardiovascular effects..."
Basically, beets are being touted as improving the physical endurance and performance of athletes, and those of us who aren't professional athletes, but do exercise regularly. Eat up!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)