If you don't call her back within 10 minutes of her leaving you a voicemail, she will think you're either dead, kidnapped, or a terrible daughter. If you're a son, you're probably just busy.
You'd better bring her tupperware back. With the correct lids.
Empty sandwich meat containers are washed and turned into disposable tupperware.
Don't even THINK about walking on that silk Persian rug.
Seriously. Take off your shoes.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't really count until there's a ring involved.
Until then, he/she is "just a friend/classmate."
She will always think your house is dirty.
You don't actually know how to cook unless you're cooking Persian dishes.
Your hair is always parted on the wrong side.
Don't laugh too loud. It's not ladylike.
Don't talk too loud, either.
Just don't talk.
Are you going to wear that dress? It's too short.
That one's too long.
Just let her dress you.
She has the blueprint of every mall within a 25 mile radius.
She has a map of Lord & Taylor in her purse at all times.
Between coupons, finding the Persian lady who works there, and talking to the manager, she can get you a $3000 gown for about $75.
She may nag at you in private, but in public you're the greatest human being to ever live. Just make sure you're dressed appropriately. And don't talk too loud.
