15 Ways The SuperBowl Would Be Different If 2 Iranian Brothers Were Coaching The 2 Teams

1. Their family and friends would hassle the brothers for weeks trying to get tickets to the game, only to end up scalping them for triple the value.

2. Iranian fans would petition the NFL to have Googoosh sing the National Anthem.

3. Iranians would manage to sneak in mortadella sandwiches, pistachios, and doogh (carbonated yogurt drink).

4. Their mother would burn esfand (incense) before the brothers took the field to keep the evil eyes away.

5. The coin toss would take forEVER, as each side would tarof  back and forth.

 

"Please, I insist that you all receive."

"No, YOU choose whatever you want."

"Nokaretam (I am your servant)."

6. Their mother would be running back and forth between the two teams sidelines, feeding the brothers kabob, rice, ash (hearty soup), and tea.

7. Their supporters wouldn't be wearing their teams football jerseys, they'd be wearing Iran soccer jerseys.

8. The Brothers would make sure nobody touched their hair. Especially the hair on their heads.

9. The Brothers would be texting one another close up shots of the cheerleaders.

10. Iranians would petition the NFL to include an Andy and Kouros reunion as the halftime show.

11. When a call is made against either of the teams, their mother would run down and yell at the refs.

"Don't you geev my son dat von! Son of de betch! Dert on your heads!"

12. Power outage? No problem. Iranians would rush the field, form a circle, and take turns dancing in it.

13. The winning team would pour hot tea on the coach. Ironically, the losing team would do the same.

14. Their mom would run down to the field at the end of the game and assure both of her sons that they have doodool talas (golden penises). 

15. The brother whose team lost would get phone calls from family and friends on Monday morning telling him what he should have done. Ironically, so would the brother who won.