1. Norooz Marks the Beginning of Spring!It's a beautiful season, rife with all sorts of symbolism marking the opportunity for a real new start. Flowers are starting to bloom, there's more sunshine in the day, everything feels light and airy and free! The possibilities for what you can accomplish in the new year seem endless, way more endless than the first day of that other new year that's smack dab in the middle of a dark, dreary, and cold season.
2. This Is the Only Time (most) Persian Kids Are Allowed Pets In The House...
...in the form of Goldfish. The Goldfish are a part of the traditional HaftSeen spread, symbolizing life. Try explaining to a child why their only chance at a pet will inevitably die, usually before the holiday is even over. Persian kids have been forced to cope with death as early as they can remember Norooz, watching the goldfish die, one by one.
"Maman, why is that one floating upside down?"
"Eez dead, azizam. Pets die, dees eez vhy I don't let you to have one. You cannot alvays take care of eet."
Scarred.For.Life.
3. You Won't Be Inundated With "resolutions" to Lose Weight...Because Everyone is Force Feeding You Food!
The food, oh the food. 13 days of non-stop home cooked Persian food. 13 days of rice based dishes, which sounds like a Hollywood star's worst nightmare, but a Persian's dream. And who could forget the shirini (sweets & pastries)?! Persian bakeries are working overtime to accommodate the influx of orders for baked goods. Diabetics up their insulin shots and deal with the consequences after the holiday is over. It's just that good. You may tell yourself you'll only have "one or two with my chaeey (tea)" but we all know that once that tray is passed around, you'll have so much honey and sugar on your lips, you'll look like you just made out with a jar of vaseline.4. Eidi $$ (Norooz gifts of Money)
Whenever you visit someone's house during the celebration of Norooz, you go to their HaftSeen (the table of 7 S's representing different wishes for the New Year) and you open the book of Poetry they have on the table. There are bills of all denominations in between the pages, just waiting for guests to pluck them from obscurity. The page that you've opened up to is read aloud, and that poem is a representation of what your year will hold for you, a telling of your future. So you get a reading, and YOU get paid for it. Sweet!
5. Eid Didani, Literally Translated: Seeing for the New Year. In Short, Going from House to House, Spending Time With Your Family and Friends.
How much fun is that?! 13 days of seeing everyone you love, with people giving you food, sweets, and money just for showing up. With Christmas, you're stuck wherever you are for that one day, and there's usually no escape, also due to weather conditions. With Norooz, if you get bored (or want more money) you can totally use the excuse that you still have to make more rounds of visiting family and friends, and just leave whenever you want!
6. Dancing, Drinking, Dancing!
The amount of parties can be overwhelming to a non-Persian. The best way to prepare for these 13 days is to nap frequently, and stay hydrated, so that you can party all night. You will always be expected to dance. All night. No excuses.
"Vat you are meaning you are tie-yerd? You must do danceeng veet us!"
You will be exhausted at the end of the night. You will be hungover the next morning. You will have blisters for days. But the memories, the laughter, and the fun will make it all worth while. I promise.
7. Sizde Bedar - Loose Translation: The 13th Outside
13 is considered a number of bad luck, so on the 13th (and last) day of the Norooz celebration, Persians leave their homes en masse to celebrate. They go to big parks to barbecue, dance, eat, play sports, talk about what everyone is wearing, pretend like they're dressed down for the park but really they took a lot of time picking out those jeans and cute hoodies to match (it takes more effort to look casually dressed down than you may think). It's fun to play games all day and watch the people who wore dress shoes, skirts, and slacks, try to navigate their way around the grass and mud without getting dirty.
(Rumor also has it that this mass gathering of Persians was the catalyst to create Homeland Security. Just a rumor, I'm sure)
Lastly, young women are supposed to tie little knots in pieces of the sabzi that were grown on their haftseen spread, and throw them in a body of water, wishing for a husband, because, as we all know, the most important thing that can happen to a woman is to get married. Unless they're over 30 and unmarried, in which case they're expected to throw themselves into the water. (Just kidding. I think)
Sale Hamegi Mobarak, va omidvaram ke saletoon por az khoobi, khoshi, va movafagheeat bashe!
Translation: Happy New Year to everyone, and I hope that your year is filled with wellness, happiness, and prosperity/success!
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