I recently saw a video on YouTube, originally posted by a friend of mine on Facebook, showing a kid getting taunted and punched by a group of kids. Casey, the young boy being bullied, just stood there, taking it all from the jeering kids, not reacting at all. Apparently, this kid had been getting bullied repeatedly, and had done nothing to defend himself thus far. Finally, at the end of the clip, Casey picked up his - much smaller- foe, and body slammed him onto the concrete ground. Casey was subsequently suspended from school. Nothing happened to the boy who had led the campaign of ugliness towards him. This got to me thinking about the issue of bullying, which has gained a lot of momentum in the press in the last couple of years. Bullying has become the hot button topic as of late. It's become the cause du jour, but the reality is that this "new phenomenon" is far from new, and has been around for ages. I used to get bullied in school. A lot. I was teased for a myriad of different things, 90% of the time at the hands of boys. According to them, my nose was too big, my freckles were ugly, my chest was too flat, and my name was weird. Interestingly enough, I shortened my name from Nazanin to Nazi to make the pronunciation easier for my classmates, but this got them to call me NAZI, as in a soldier from Hitler's Third Reich. Great. It didn't help that I was raised by fairly strict Iranian parents, which meant I never went to any parties, didn't date any boys, and didn't know what half of the sexual and/or drug related references they were talking about even were. Oh yeah, this also earned me the label of 'lesbian'. I have zero issue with being gay, so it didn't matter that I actually wasn't, so I never really let that one bother me. There were a lot of instances that I look back on and think, wow, how did people treat another kid so badly? I wasn't being mean to these kids. Why were they being so mean to me? I never did anything about it, I guess I was too scared then, and hadn't found my voice yet. I was also a year or so younger than just about everyone in my grade, so I guess I was still intimidated. Also, the couple of times I tried to talk back and defend myself, the boys in reference would get in my face, or say something really embarassing (like point out that I wasn't allowed to shave yet. Thanks, Mom!) so needless to say, the fear of their retaliation shut me up! They plain scared me. I still get a little anxiety when even talking about it, because it brings back those feelings of embarassment, not fitting in, fear, and just being different. It took me until my college years to really start blossoming into a young woman, finding my voice, celebrating my own uniqueness, and not allowing anyone to talk to me in a demeaning manner any longer. Funny thing is, I would tend to defend others who I saw being treated unfairly, but it took me a while to do the same for myself. It's sad to see that the same issues continue on in schools across the globe. I definitely believe it all starts with parenting, and a childs family life. I am not a parent, therefore I cannot speak to the difficulty and stresses of raising a child. However, I really hope that parents will take a better look at themselves, and what they are teaching, or not teaching, their children about how to treat other human beings. We, as adults, must also be mindful of what we are teaching our younger siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. Cruel behaviors should not be laughed at, or encouraged, but taken as opportunities to show younger kids, and teenagers, and sometimes adults, that treating others with kindness and respect is what is expected of them as human beings. Kindness and respect shouldn't be the exception, it should be the norm. I still remember the names of just about everyone who had made my life miserable. I ran into some of them at my high school reunion a couple of years ago. It was interesting to me that after all of these years, my feelings regarding them as people hadn't changed. Basically I still felt like they sucked as human beings. Words are powerful, and can leave an indelible mark on a person. That's what happens when you aren't kind to people, you are never forgotten, and it's not in a positive way. With all of that said, my experiences shaped me as a person. They helped me learn to stand up for myself, and become the take-no-bullshit woman that I am today. To all of the kids, teens, and even adults that get bullied, and teased, find your voice and stand up for youself, too. If you see someone else being knocked down, literally or figuratively, help them find their voice, as well. I promise you, it gets better. Really it does :) One Love. |
Nazanin
P.S. Middle School and High School are nothing in comparison to the grand scheme of things. If those were the best days of your life, then you're doing something wrong.
